I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
