Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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