Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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