oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
