you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize