i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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