p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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