I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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