I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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