Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
