Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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