Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
