he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
