i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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