im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
