One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
