i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Quick, to the slutcave!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
