You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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