So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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