I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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