I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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