Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
