..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
