I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
