either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
