SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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