It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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