I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
