let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
