you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
