We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
