I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize