please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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