She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
