That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
