At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
