No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
