Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
