i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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