are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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