how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
