Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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