Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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