She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
