i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
