At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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