she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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