So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
