If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
