Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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