just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
