I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
