I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i've created a new STD.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
