This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize