you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
