Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
