I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
